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I think the most annoying thing about this website is the fact that it lacks autosave. I write and write, to have it swept away in a moment, and I am not even sure how or why.

It is the worst.

As I was saying because I do not have energy to start over again, I feel heavy weak and sickly.

Oddly though my afternoon has been crap and I feel like a beached whale at the moment, overall life is seemingly good. I am busy and happy at work, and entertained enough outside of work. I think money still continues to bother me.

It hangs over me, never enough. Where I feel guilty for buying take out, not just because it is bad for me, but because it is money that I really don't have. The crazy part is, I just got paid. Two days have gone by and it is like I have nothing again.

Maybe that is what makes me feel sick, what is causing my back to ache. The anxiety of money. It's thing I don't want to deal with, that governs my life and limits it.

Then of course there is my health, or lack there of, that leaves me bound to my bed. Which on most case would be my preference, but now gives me a feeling of helplessness and disgust.

I feel broken and ill.

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